why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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