We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
