i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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