ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
