Everything about him screamed your future.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
