girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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