Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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