last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
