Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
