You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
