Pregnant stripper...not hot.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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