At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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