brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize