You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
