You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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