I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
This toilet bowl is my home.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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