Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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