he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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