absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
