is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
