i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I FOUND THE LEGS
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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