So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
