We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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