I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize