Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
