do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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