its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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