I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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