I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
too bad you live with your parents still
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
