Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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