I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I think I am morally bankrupt
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
