we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
