no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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