Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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