Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
