Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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