we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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