Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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