Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
