Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
