Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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