can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
