It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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