I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
