I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize