hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
