Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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