You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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