Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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