The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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