dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize