Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
