I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize