i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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