anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
When did angry sex become our thing?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
