Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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