We're facebook friends in real life
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I got inside last night via doggy door
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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