I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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