Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
