I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
